The new story of april continued

(Continuation of the New Story of April. For the original please start here)

April wasn't all bad though. On the 29th of that month I had the wonderful opportunity to see two of my best friends graduate from medical school. They were a part of the first graduating class at that institution, and I couldn't have been prouder. The weekend came at a more sedate period of the month for me. Lilly was medically doing great at the moment, and the grandparents health was under control. I had more fun than I had in months, but the joy for my friends was also tempered by frustrations with my own life. I watched the excitement in their eyes as they talked about moving to their respective new cities and programs, felt the simultaneous fear and joy at the challenges awaiting them. It was in those moments that I came to the heart breaking realization:

"I don't think I'm called to stay in Child Life."

Bunny Day Camp and Medications

This is the continuation of a story that first started here. It's incredible to me how difficult it has become to write each post, but I have this gut instinct that it is a story I am supposed to tell. So we continue, one agonizing day at a time:


Thursday, April 4:

(Facebook status update):

Update on Lilly: "We have urine production!" the doctor told me very excitedly yesterday when I came to pick her up. It's a good sign, it shows the kidneys have not totally shut down, but we still have a very long way to go. I dropped her off this morning again for monitoring and subcutaneous fluids, will do so again tomorrow, and then Saturday is the real test to see what her numbers at at. My one source of hope (As dangerous as hope can be) is that her activity and appetite are surprisingly normal. The receptionist yesterday relayed to me that the vet told her he was SHOCKED that she wants to eat, with those numbers she should be on death's door. The girl told me that she then stated "Well clearly she's not ready to go yet, she's a little fighter and she's not giving in." It brought tears to my eyes (which I'll admit is not uncommon these days) because that is the epitome of who Lilly is- she has always been a fighter, singularily stubborn and determined. I've been struggling with finding the line between how hard to push and when to let go and stop prolonging the inevitable. After hearing that, my answer was clear: as long as she has the determination to fight for her own life, I'll fight with her. When she starts giving up and succumbing, I will respect that. But as the vets office told me: "it's not often we see an animal that determined to keep living." So for now I'm trusting, and praying, and even begging God for more time with her. Thank you so much for all the support, at times I get hard on myself for being this upset over a rabbit, but you all haven't let me give up hope and for that, I thank you. Keep praying, for me, for her, for discernment as we move forward.

Reflections on Match Day 2013

I want to introduce you to two of my best friends:

Cooking Baking Extravaganza 2012

That's Anisha, and we've been friends.. forever. We met in elementary school; a bit competitive as we were both super smart... and we knew it. But we were friends. We then went separate ways for middle school, high school, and, for a time, college. However, I transferred schools, met a girl who became my bestie, and then realized her roommate was best friends with... Anisha. So we became friends again. Graduated. Moved on... until I moved to Miami, where she conveniently was attending medical school. Bam. Instant best friends again, as if nothing had ever happened. She is loving, and caring, and kindhearted, basically everything you could ever want in a lifelong friend.

Celebrating her return from India... in unintentionally matching sweater dresses, tights, boots, belts, and scarves...

This is Molly, and we've been friends... since I moved to Miami. She and Anisha met/became friends in medical school, and eventually attended church together as well. Molly and I had a Chili's date very early on in our friendship and from that first encounter it was if we had been friends our whole lives. She is in many ways the yin to my yang (heck, we even dress alike without meaning to!), and has truly enriched my time here in Miami. There are so many things I probably wouldn't have survived without her support.


Molly and Anisha have been in medical school, kicking butt, for the past four years and something very special happened yesterday:

After months and months and months of applying, and interviewing, and flying, and not sleeping, and stressing, and thinking, and eventually ranking their top programs... they finally found out where they will be doing their residencies and continuing their medical careers. Needless to say... it was an exciting day. As a friend who has somewhat 'traveled' this journey with them, I was proud, nervous, and excited to experience 'Match Day' by their side.


And of course... God taught me a lesson in the process (ain't that always the way!).

Thoughts on Prayer Part Two: Or the start of the "Positivity Project"

When God closes a door sometimes there seems to be no real reason 'why', and all we can do is trust it was because there was something scary on the other side we hadn't yet seen... like a rabid dog, or a serial killer.

Source

I had a major setback today.

Once again, details shouldn't, and won't, be discussed on an open public forum, but needless to say something I have been praying over, had friends praying over, hit a major roadblock.

It's been difficult... and life affirming all at the same time.

 I should back up