Tales from the Kiddos: Cookie Vampire Bites

Side note: you might have noticed several posts on here disappeared overnight. Without going into too much detail, there have been some issues at work regarding appropriateness of sharing information via social media (In general, nothing related to me personally). It has me very wary of anything work related on this site. Granted, any information/pictures I have referenced have been former patients and with their express permission. (Not to mention I'm always super anal about making sure Im not even remotely disclosing specific information like their name, age, or treatment information). However, to be on the safe side i have removed any post that has a trace of questionable material and will repost them once they are 100% ok. :)

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My mom and I had a conversation tonight, during which I related a few very amusing patient anecdotes. Her response was the same was most other people when I share my crazy work related tidbits "It's a shame you can't write a book about these things".

Obviously much of my experiences can't be told in detail, but one of the reasons I originally started this blog was to have an outlet for sharing my experiences during my internship. I am now well past that time in my life (and fully employed, wahoo), but at some point my focus drifted away from the child life aspect and my blog instead became an outlet for my own theological/psychological musings. I don't intend to stray too far from this formula; I believe a blog should be a reflection of the individual, but when appropriate I would like to take an opportunity to share some of the gems from my job. I mean come on, sharing the "Bethany got sprayed with a coke enema gone loose" story never gets old. #noImnotjokingIwishIwas #lookupcokeenemaifyouareconfused #justanotherdayinthelife

So to start us off I would like to share today's "Only in my job" story


We have a young patient who has been at the hospital for an extended stay, as such most of the staff have 'adopted' him. Not going to lie, it's a shame I can't take pictures of him, but for your reference, think of the cutest baby you have ever met.... and multiply it by about three. You're getting close. I like to describe him as old enough to be deliberate in his actions, but young enough to not always know better.

This munchkin, we'll call him Roger (Read: not his real name), is incredibly intelligent for his age, a joy to be around, but unfortunately in that stage of life where mealtime becomes synonymous with playtime. Inevitably it becomes my job to feed him dinner (oh please, twist my arm ;) ), and afterwards clean him up and change his clothing. We've been doing this for a few weeks now and I've developed the system: 1)Wipe hands/mouth, 2) Remove soiled shirt 3) Put on clean shirt 4) remove high chair tray and stand Roger up, stripping the dirty pants 5) With one arm holding Roger in place, use other arm to pull on new pants.6) Follow up with a very high pitched "Yay" and hand clapping, emulated by said child. The high pitch is necessary and a well executed hand clap is the sign of a good child life specialist. #truth

It's a complicated maneuver but one that we have had down for a few weeks now... until tonight. Steps 1-4 went relatively well, slightly difficult as Roger had a mouth full of half chewed cookie slobber, but we had success removing the offending clothes without smearing Miss Bethany in cookie goo (not so much yesterday when I walked out unaware it was on my nose and in my hair). Yet, as we moved on to step five I felt Roger lay his head on my shoulder. Oh Cute.. he's showing me some love was my thought, until two seconds later I felt the rascal open wide and chomp down as hard as he could.

Yes, I now have a toddler hickey... and yet not only do I now sport an odd vampirish- bite on my neck base, my white shirt has a lovely cookie stain exactly in the shape of a young mouth. That and the cookie stains in the boob area were fun to explain to church friends later that evening. What can I say? At least the kid is eating!