The new story of april continued

(Continuation of the New Story of April. For the original please start here)

April wasn't all bad though. On the 29th of that month I had the wonderful opportunity to see two of my best friends graduate from medical school. They were a part of the first graduating class at that institution, and I couldn't have been prouder. The weekend came at a more sedate period of the month for me. Lilly was medically doing great at the moment, and the grandparents health was under control. I had more fun than I had in months, but the joy for my friends was also tempered by frustrations with my own life. I watched the excitement in their eyes as they talked about moving to their respective new cities and programs, felt the simultaneous fear and joy at the challenges awaiting them. It was in those moments that I came to the heart breaking realization:

"I don't think I'm called to stay in Child Life."

The Story of April.. revisited (A new story)

A year ago I told you a story. A story of the month of April, it's highs and lows, heartbreaks and joys. A time when God grabbed me by the shoulders, shook me a few times, and started guiding me along a path. At the time I had no idea where the path was leading, how long it would take to travel, or even why I was asked to walk. Yet, I went along.

I blogged a great deal about the problems, but there were many pieces of the puzzle I withheld. Most of my reasoning was logical and sound, as I hope you'll agree, but there was also a very tangible element involved: fear. It's a dynamic of which's grip I have not quite escaped, and truthfully, it is still a bit early in the game for me to safely share the background details. However, God has made it clear that instead of shying away from the fire, I am asked to go through it. Here goes.

This is me

I'm staring down the bottle of pills sitting next to me. It's seemingly innocuous. Transparent orange bottle, light blue lid. A label on it that has my name, the pharmacy information, and the dosage instruction. Its the word in between  that terrifies me: Escitalopram.

After 27 years of fighting my battles on my own, I am being told the burden is too much, and it's time to accept some (chemical) help.

Happiness...

I was searching through old photos to find something to add here, and this one literally jumped out at me. I can't tell you when I took it... but clearly it had a purpose.

"Maybe happiness didn't have to be about the big, sweeping circumstances, about having everything in your life in place. Maybe it was about stringing together a bunch of small pleasures... Maybe happiness was just a matter of the little upticks- the traffic signal that said "walk" the second you got there - and downticks - the itchy tag at the back of your collar- that happened to every person in the course of a day. Maybe everybody had the same allotted measure of happiness within each day. Maybe it didn't matter if you were a word-famous heartthrob or a painful geek. Maybe it didn't matter if your friend was possibly dying. Maybe you just got through it. Maybe that was all you could ask for." - The Sisterhood of the traveling pants Ann Brashares

Tales from the Kiddos: When sharing is a problem

Conversation between doctor and 4 year old female patient

Dr: That looks like a really good lollipop! Can I just have one lick??
Patient: (pauses to think really hard) No Dr D.... because, because it has all of my germs all over it!
Dr: Oh, so I can't have it?
Patient: No! You can have your germs and I can have mine.
Dr: Ok then.. (Looks at tupperware container of chocolate chip cookies next to patients and points while he counts) Well look here... you have one, two , three, four cookies. So that can be one cookie for me, and three for you!
Patient: (once again thinking hard) No Dr D. Because.. Because... I have to keep them all together!!
Dr: Ok... well (looks at the multitude of tiny animals she has on her lap) you have a lot of animals there! Can I just have one, can I just have one so I can go back to my office and not cry?
Dad: Come on -----, you can give him one! You have three lions there, give Dr D one!
Dr: You can give me one and you'll have all your others, and then I won't cry
Patient: (Who has been sitting there the entire time, quiet, with the wheels clearly turning in her head) Well... how about you have one of YOUR toys from the playroom. (Stands up and goes to toy box, picks out a toy, comes back and puts it in the doctor's hands) There you go Dr. D. I'm giving you THAT toy to take back to your office so you won't cry.
Dad: You can't fault her reasoning... even if she is generous with other peoples' things!

Tales from the Kiddos: Peeping Patients

5 year old male patient is in his room alone, kneeling on a chair, looking out the window contently for a good long time until:

Patient: Is that Lady DEAD?!?!
Nurse: What lady??
Patient: (pointing to lady sleeping in the adult ICU room visible across the way) That one! She's DEAD!
Nurse: No honey, she's just sleeping
Patient: Why would she be sleeping? It's the MIDDLE OF THE DAY. She's definitely dead.

You can't argue with that logic

Tales from the Kiddos: A different kind of fudge?

Conversation with a 5 year old boy

Bethany: Did you eat all your dinner?
Patient: No, I don't like any of that
Bethany: Really? You have chocolate cake right here!
Patient: Yes... but, chocolate cake will make you constipated.