Tales from the Kiddos: When sharing is a problem

Conversation between doctor and 4 year old female patient

Dr: That looks like a really good lollipop! Can I just have one lick??
Patient: (pauses to think really hard) No Dr D.... because, because it has all of my germs all over it!
Dr: Oh, so I can't have it?
Patient: No! You can have your germs and I can have mine.
Dr: Ok then.. (Looks at tupperware container of chocolate chip cookies next to patients and points while he counts) Well look here... you have one, two , three, four cookies. So that can be one cookie for me, and three for you!
Patient: (once again thinking hard) No Dr D. Because.. Because... I have to keep them all together!!
Dr: Ok... well (looks at the multitude of tiny animals she has on her lap) you have a lot of animals there! Can I just have one, can I just have one so I can go back to my office and not cry?
Dad: Come on -----, you can give him one! You have three lions there, give Dr D one!
Dr: You can give me one and you'll have all your others, and then I won't cry
Patient: (Who has been sitting there the entire time, quiet, with the wheels clearly turning in her head) Well... how about you have one of YOUR toys from the playroom. (Stands up and goes to toy box, picks out a toy, comes back and puts it in the doctor's hands) There you go Dr. D. I'm giving you THAT toy to take back to your office so you won't cry.
Dad: You can't fault her reasoning... even if she is generous with other peoples' things!

Tales from the Kiddos: A different kind of fudge?

Conversation with a 5 year old boy

Bethany: Did you eat all your dinner?
Patient: No, I don't like any of that
Bethany: Really? You have chocolate cake right here!
Patient: Yes... but, chocolate cake will make you constipated.

Tales from the Kiddos: Hospital Boot Camp

Conversation with a female patient, 3 years old (who is not allowed in the playroom for a variety of reasons at the moment):

Patient: Can we go to your playroom Bethany,  PLEEEEEASE (cheesy grin)
B: Not right now sweetie, it's really dirty.
Patient: (picks up toothbrush from sink) That's ok, if you get me a cup of water I can clean it for you with this. 

Wanted: a sense of normalcy

Life's been crazy. I have about five half written posts and no time/motivation/willpower/inspiration to finish them as of yet.

So while I desperately search for my sanity, please enjoy yourself with these gems

The best reviews for a product... ever.

The funniest video.... ever.

The most kick-ass First Lady... ever.

The creepiest kids video.... ever.

and

The most inappropriate yet likely to make you fall over laughing blog post... ever.

Tales from the Kiddos: Careful what you ask

Conversation a while back with a former frequent flyer (aka a patient who used to come in a very regular basis). She had come to visit with her mother after school (elementary age).

Bethany: Hi Katie* (Read: Not her real name). I've missed you! How is everyone in the family?! How's Papi?
Katie: He's good...... Gassy as ever.
(hysterical laughter from all as mom turns red in the face)
Mom: Katie! You can't say those things.... I mean, it's true, but still!!


Moments like this are why I love my job.