Thoughts on Prayer Part Two: Or the start of the "Positivity Project"

When God closes a door sometimes there seems to be no real reason 'why', and all we can do is trust it was because there was something scary on the other side we hadn't yet seen... like a rabid dog, or a serial killer.

Source

I had a major setback today.

Once again, details shouldn't, and won't, be discussed on an open public forum, but needless to say something I have been praying over, had friends praying over, hit a major roadblock.

It's been difficult... and life affirming all at the same time.

 I should back up

Reflections on Blessings (plus Birthday week: Instagram Style)

There are moments in life when you are reminded of how you are truly blessed.

Beyond all measure, beyond all reason, beyond all that you deserve.

Celebrating my birthday with my roommate at a gorgeous winery

Tales from the Kiddos: What else would they sell there?

Conversation between two frequent flyer patients, their families, and the child life staff:

Katie*: We're getting a puppy soon!

Katie's mom*: I'm just a little overwhelmed about how many supplies we have to get!

Liam's mom*: I know what you mean. Before we got our dog I nearly had a heart attack at how expensive everything is. Can you believe they charge ten dollars for a rope dog toy at most stores?

Bethany: You know, when we first got our dog we actually found the dollar store was a GREAT place to buy toys, they were cheap, and those toys actually lasted a lot longer than the more expensive ones.

Katie: (With an utterly confused and stunned expression) Wait... you mean they DON'T sell dollars at the dollar store???



*Not anyone's real names

Thoughts on Prayer: Or why I'm not allowed to think after 11 pm

I've been MIA.

And in Mia... MIA in Mia? Sure. We'll go with that.

Life's thrown a couple curveballs, major ones at that, and it's been a lot to process all at once. not to mention making it impossible to blog. Some excuses are more valid than others.

For instance, having your entire thumbnail jabbing up into your eye causing a pretty severe cornea abrasion that makes it impossible to keep your eyes open: valid excuse.

Getting distracted by new episodes of your favorite shows: not so much.

But regardless, lots of things happening on the other side of the keyboard, things that can't be shared here for a variety of reasons, and it got me thinking about my own worst enemy: myself. More specifically, the part of my mind that refuses to shut off and continues to wander until the early hours of the morning.

Am I the only one who has this problem? During the day, when Im staying busy, that part of me, we'll call her Gertrude, stays firmly put and doesn't interrupt my ability to function. However, late at night, when my defenses are down, Gertrude sneaks out of her confinement and begins pestering me with her doubts and misgivings.

I start second guessing myself, my decisions, my faith, my life, my hopes and fears. Life always seems so hopeless at 2 am with the lights off, in my solitary bed, far away from friends and family. God feels foreign and silent, if not non-existant, and the hope that life will someday improve all but dissipates.

I've instituted a rule that Im not allowed to think or make decisions after 11 pm.

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Tales from the Kiddos: We're brothers dontyaknow

Conversation between the twin brother of a patient and my co-worker (with brother and grandma nearby).

Brother: Can we go into the teen lounge?
L: I don't know it's really for the older kids, 13 and above. How old are you?
Brother: Well.. I'm almost 13, I'm 12
L:(Feigning shock because the boys definitely didn't look that old) no way! There's no way you are twelve whole years old. Are you positive?
Brother: Yes yes I am, I promise! I'm the same age as he is (pointing to patient/identical twin brother), we're even brothers, I promise!
L: You're brothers? Now THAT I would never have guessed.
Brother: Yeah... no one believes us
L: Well it's not like you look anything alike
Brother: (confused look)



Child Life Specialists: confusing one gullible child at a time. It's the little things that keep us going.